Jeff responded “I did take out the garbage!!!! I swear!!!” and it was a surprisingly accurate response to what just happened.
You see, John, from my Slap blog, did break up with his girlfriend Jane. They broke up yesterday, and he was so excited to go clubbing this weekend and maybe even go back to how he was when he actually had a personality trait besides “whipped”. I thought he was saved and done with the garbage he so lovingly called his girlfriend.
He was fine this afternoon, too, until about an hour ago when he wouldn’t tell Bryce where he was going… until Bryce saw Jane in John’s car. He was obviously ashamed of himself — and he damn well should be — for being in her presence.
I suddenly understand why everyone was so disappointed in me when I would be “on again” with my exes. I’m sorry. I’m so freaking sorry.
I had no idea how frustrating it is to watch someone give up everything for an already-failed “relationship”. I now know. It’s like watching insanity. You know, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
John: She is never going to trust you. She is never going to not be the girl who burned your posters and threw a fit because you wanted to protect yourself from having a child with her. She is never going to be attractive, or sensitive, or good for you. Based on how she acts now, she will most likely never be mature. She is as never not going to be the girl who hit you for telling her to not fill out forms under your name. She will also never be sane. She is broken. Now, you seem to be choosing her — a financially and emotionally unstable little girl (well, not so little, since she’s got to be twice your size) over having any friends, and over having a home.
I am now questioning your sanity.
Your friends and family want you away from her. I guess you must be thinking, “Golly gee-whiz, Jane is just the best! She screams at me for not watching Harry Potter with her, and blames me when she gets a cold, but she loves me more than anyone else!”
You are wrong. There is no way that she gives a fuck about you. She would not treat you like that if she cared about you. She would not take you for granted, she would not use you, she would not deceive you. She would also not think of her bong right after you broke up with her. Her bong and stupid, trashy extensions would not mean more to her than you. This should be obvious.
For fuck’s sake, I’m a better friend to you than her, and I haven’t even met you. I care more about your well being than she does. I want you to have a healthy future with someone who actually cares about you and treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Considering she will never do any of these things, I think it makes sense for me to think she’s not the best thing for you.
I tried to be sensitive and compassionate about this before, because yeah, I have been in your place. I’ve been in a relationship like yours. I was an idiot to stay, and now you’re the idiot. Congratulations.
Now please take out the garbage and leave it in the landfill where it belongs.
4 thoughts on “Nuclear Waste – An Open Letter”
It’s amazing what people will trick themselves into thinking just for a sense of belonging. I never faced physical violence, but my ex had her own brand of abuse; accusing me of being untrustworthy and putting me on trial every chance she got. Nothing ever changed over our 5 years until events led her to go back to Canada, in which it took her about 8 weeks to decide to cheat on me.
I laughed more than anything. It was almost vindication in the sense that I never lived up to the image she had of me, even though in reality, we were done long before she left. She became what she’d feared I was, and I took it as a victory.
I know now that I won’t allow myself to be in a position to be unhappy ever again. I was stupid for thinking she would “grow out of it,” and when it was all done, I felt total relief. John needs to learn this lesson fast. The problem is that he won’t learn it until he realizes that it’s something he needs. Waiting for him to make that choice is going to pain everyone around him, but until he comes around, there’s not a whole lot you can do, sadly.
But I don’t have all the answers, that’s just my view.
Emotional and mental abuse is still abuse mate. I endured similar shit and that’s how I know John is on the receiving end of similar stuff courtesy of Jane.
See, just by knowing I wrote this much, you know what I would have written 6 paragraphs down. Be mindful, both of you!