Musings of MatronEdea
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Sex, Slut Shaming, and Class (Might be NSFW)

January 28th, 2012 | Posted by MatronEdea in Attitudes

Sex is not something we should be ashamed of. If consenting adults have a sexual relationship and they’re being responsible about it, I don’t see why they should have to hide it.

There are people, though, who think that sex is something that should be whispered. I know a few people who are uncomfortable even saying the word “sex”. My dad had a teacher who happened to be a psychology teacher, and even he couldn’t say it. Instead, he would spell out, “s…e…x.”

A lot of the homophobic arguments I’ve heard have been about the act of having “bad” sex. That is, anal sex, or sex with toys, or whatever sort of non-traditional sex people have, is evil. Being gay itself isn’t a sin, but having gay sex is. Sex should be in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation. Only two people can have sex at a time, and they must be the same race. Also, contraception should be illegal. (/sarcasm)

I’ve also noticed that talking about sex openly — especially if you’re a girl — is taboo. If I posted “Orgasms are nice” on Twitter, people would probably start thinking not-so-positive things about me. Maybe I would be labelled as trashy, or slutty, or whatever. I highly doubt that many would think “It’s great that she’s so comfortable talking openly about what’s making her day pleasant.”

This would especially be true if I were having sex with multiple partners. Women who are in open relationships or who just happen to like having sex without being tied down are labeled as sluts. If, for example, I had sex with a few guys in a week and posted it online, people would most likely be somewhat turned off.

I recognize that announcing something like that publicly would make it everyone’s business in a way, but I hardly think that what someone does in their sex life is reason to judge them as amoral (that is, unless it’s your significant other and you’re in a closed relationship or something). It was a huge part of the Millenium Trilogy — people were called insane, Satanic sadomasochistic lesbians because they enjoyed being tied up sometimes and disliked labels.

There are also people who think that because a person wears a certain type of clothing, that person is “asking for it”. If a girl wears a miniskirt, she must be a slut who will have sex with anyone, so it’s not really rape. Being comfortable enough to wear that sort of thing does not mean that the person is comfortable enough to let anyone see everything.

What I don’t understand is how people got to these ideas. If I see a guy walking around with his shirt off, I don’t assume that he wants to have sex with me. I also don’t think that I should just take it, even if he says no, because OH EM GEE HE WASN’T WEARING A SHIRT.

That thought process would be what we like to call presumptuous and (slightly) insane.

I think the idea that sex should be awkward and secret is slightly insane, as well. None of us would exist without sex.

Obviously.

The idea that women can’t and shouldn’t enjoy sex as much as men is slightly insane, too. We have the anatomy to enjoy it (we might enjoy it more) and should be allowed to enjoy it without being judged negatively for it.

So, for those of you who are uncomfortable with people having sex, please explain why it bothers you. I honestly don’t understand how someone being open, comfortable and happy with his or her sexuality would make others unhappy.

Otherwise… Let’s do what Salt-n-Pepa suggested a couple years after I was born.

 

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6 Responses

  • Muzza says:

    Good read I agreed with most of it except for the “Also contraception should be illegal“. Contraception just like abortion will never be illegal. If it did people would use other unsafe methods of contraception. Not only that it would be even more damaging to society and the world if we didn‘t have it. With no contraception the population will grow even more than currently, which is not a good thing it will leed to a faster extinction of us and everything else.

    tl:dr
    Contraception is a good thing. To say it isn‘t is illogical and insane.

  • Nacho says:

    But orgasms are nice!

  • Tony (Boots) says:

    Total agreement on all of this. When I was 4, I found my dad’s print porn stash. Even at that young age, I somehow understood what it meant and knew what sex was. I personally don’t get why people are so timid about it. We’re human, we’re supposed to enjoy it, and all of these officials and authority figures trying to convince us to repress our feelings are full of shit. They love it, too. Right, Elliot Spitzer? Bill Clinton? Guy in the MPLS airport?

    Right.



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